Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Hillary Clinton Will Drink Your Milkshake

First, Happy Valentine's Day. The Clintons for President 4Eva Campaign sends you the following wet, sloppy Valentine:

As I noted somewhere else, it's like North Korean propaganda meets Romper Room. Watching these paid performers straining to create a sense of spontaneous fun, the "dancers" in the "audience" keeping regular spaces between each other in order to create the impression of a "packed" "dance floor", listening to the canned "cheering" edited in at the end, is chilling, dispiriting, and deeply disturbing. This simulation of "fun", this bought and paid-for assemblage of weak-ass, passionless, corporate, blanched, vapid, insulting, infantilizing bullshit is just another sign of what the Clinton campaign is. It is a simulation of authenticity. It is a simulation of emotion.

Hillary orders us to "chat" with her as the expensive tripod-mounted camera pretends to be handheld by "erratically" panning left to right.

It is, ultimately, and sad to say, a simulation of humanity. The Clinton campaign is profoundly terrifying to me because of its deep, bottomless, inhuman emptiness. I'm speaking of the vapidity of Hillary Clinton declaring in a simulated "victory" speech after nothing was won, in Florida, that "this election is about people." I'm speaking of the vertiginous emptiness of Clinton reminding us that "it's about our future, it's about our kids."

This is why the "Vote Different" ad struck such a nerve. The Clinton campaign is a profoundly artificial, empty, and prefabricated product. It, and the candidate at the center of the program, have been rendered inert and lifeless through years of betrayal, triangulation, and capitulation. The Clinton campaign relies on blathering hacks to try to stumble toward the campaign's raison d'être.

Hillary's Potemkin Party in Florida: "People really care . . . ."

But that is the point: there is no point to the Clinton campaign. There is no principle motivating the campaign. It is an empty, soulless machine that exists to perpetuate itself; theoretically, for the neverending Clinton campaign, the ends justify the means, but those ends become so hopelessly lost in the means, that it becomes impossible to disentangle the the two. (What were the fantastic ends that justified the Bill Clinton's famous means of triangulation? You know, besides the end of welfare as we know it, AEDPA, etc.? Oh, I know! The FMLA!) The Clinton campaign is simply a process by which to perpetuate eight more years of the Clintons in power. That is it.

So now that the presumed Clinton Restoration is in doubt, what will we get? We will get the Clinton campaign insisting that rules must be changed after the fact. We will get the Clinton campaign trying to polish turds and call it gold. We will get the Clinton machine destroying the brightest hope the Democratic party has had in nearly half a century. All to ensure that we have no choice but to see Hillary Clinton feign happiness and excitement as she assumes what she has presumed to be hers for years now: absolute power for its own sake.

"It's not easy.": Clinton winning New Hampshire and an Oscar, while reminding us that this election "is about our country" and "our kids".

I want you to consider this: Hillary Clinton may be able to take the Democratic nomination after winning fewer votes, fewer states, and fewer pledged delegates. The Clintons may be able to do this by exerting fantastic pressure on the Democratic party to seat the Michigan and Florida delegates, and/or by using their connections and vast political machine to persuade or intimidate the Superdelegates into disregarding the popular vote and installing the Clintons to resume their dynasty. There will be a "celebration" featuring paid dancers and feigned "excitement". And we will call that "democracy," just as they do in the new Hillary song at the top of this post. People will clap mechanically and force smiles. Pre-inflated balloons will drop. It will be the final, triumphant Clinton Campaign simulation.

Do not let it happen. Let's fight to make sure Democracy and not bullshit wins out this time.


toddy said...

Someone hates the Clintons.
While your bllog has been a goodly part of turning my vote resolutely Obama, I still marvel at your refusal to accept that anything, any small thing 'Clinton' might be of any value whatsoever.
While I admire the adherence to your version of idealism, it still makes me uncomfortable.

Anyhow, there is a great article in the NY Times this morning on Mrs. Obama.
She is reason enough to vote for that guy.

Ranta said...

I'm not sure I'm completely down with your polarization of the Clinton and Obama camps; Obama's Glinda to Clinton's Wicked Witch of the West leaves way too much unsaid about the complexities of each of these characters. This article from about Obama's foreign policy positions provides an interesting counterpoint to all the on-message rhetoric from himself and his supporters.

But I mostly agree about Clinton. And I think that the Colbert clip sums up her M.O. brilliantly and succinctly. I think I've seen it five times and it still cracks my shit right up.

Octopus Grigori said...

Toddy and Ranta: You may be right that I'm a little harsh on the Clintons here. But Andrew Sullivan succinctly sums up why I fear and loathe them so much right now.

2hp said...

Now that's the sort of tagline this campaign needs: I will drink your milkshake!". Perfect!