Thursday, August 14, 2008

It's Trash Day Again



I never feel more American than when I am pulling out the garbage.

Does NBC need to show every single swimming event -- every semifinal, every heat -- that is run at the Olympics? How many swimming events are there? It seems like there are hundreds. Where is the huge swimming audience in America? How many faceless goggled people breaking World Records every race can we watch? Where is the judo? Where is the archery? Where is the table tennis? Why is beach volleyball an Olympic sport? How many more times do I have to see Kerri Walsh and Misty May? Kerri Walsh is totally a Republican. I can't prove it, but I know. They have cheerleaders between sets for the beach volleyball, along with a DJ and goofy announcers. Why are they cancelling baseball as an Olympic sport? Why is BMX an Olympic sport while cricket isn't?

Also, I realize NBC is an American channel and everything, but couldn't they afford to ease up just a little on the maniacal focus on American athletes only and the ridiculous jingoism? I mean, it's fine to root for America and all, but couldn't we have a hint of objectivity? NBC doesn't appear to cover events if an American does not have a chance at a medal. This makes me feel claustrophobic after a while. Isn't the point to see the best in the world in the various events? Not just to wallow in our glory in the events we are good at?

The Democratic Convention is in eleven days, which is a little hard to believe. I can't believe so much of the convention is going to be dominated by the Clintons and all of their demands, roll calls, resolutions, etc. Watch for Geraldine Ferraro to self immolate in the middle of the Virginia delegation to protest the continuing tyranny of black male power in America.

Joe Lieberman does not represent the views of the Great State of Connecticut. He is praying that McCain wins (and will apparently do his best to help him do so with a speaking role at the GOP convention) because 2012 will be ugly for Joe in CT.

Russia has us all by the balls.

I made egg drop soup last night. It really was quite thrilling.

6 comments:

Caeli said...

Thank you for saying this, OG. Every day I hope for a little Equestrian to watch -- isn't it just a tiny bit fun to watch horses jump over huge structures? Am I the only person in America who feels this way? -- but all I get is Michael Phelp's increasingly-unappealing face (or feet, yes WE KNOW HE'S A SIZE 14) filling up the screen. That face is really starting to bug.

MK said...

Badminton! I want to see world-class badminton!

David said...

i think cricket isn't included b/c you can't finish a match within 16 days. ;-)

dn

Anonymous said...

Amen, OG! I've been reduced to channel surfing in the wee hours to catch even the tiniest glimpse of badminton and ping pong (given that the olympics are in Beijing, is some ping pong too much to ask for?). NBC did deign to show part of a singles badminton match, and it was sweet to see how psyched the Chinese player was when he won. As for equestrian, I caught the dressage and it was awesome. The only downside--you have to turn to the Oxygen Ladies channel. In any event, it really pisses me off that we have to watch entire games of beach volleyball, softball, basketball and the ENTIRE marathon, without any cutaways to other sports.

-LC

Anonymous said...

Substitute "India" for "America" and, with one exception, you've perfectly captured New Delhi viewers' experiences.

The exception is this: Indians don't compete much in most of the 'major' events, so coverage focuses (ad nauseum) on those few events that are well-represented: shooting and badminton, mostly. Fun to watch for a few hours, but decidedly not so much fun to watch for days on end, especially when you know you're missing out on all the other events.

-c-

Anonymous said...

Okay OG, I thought your sniping against Kerri Walsh was misplaced, but you have proven yourself correct. I still think she's a nice girl, but the shout-out to George W. after winning the gold medal proves she is clearly mentally deficient.

-LC